Ragin' Ranch Discussion

Hi, Dan,

I was going to drop off an empty bag of 'Raging Ranch' potato chips while on break, because I figured the visage of a hot pepper wearing shades and playing guitar (you could tell he was playing and not just posing.....there was a musical note above it) might be an inspiration. But the area downstairs and all those people I kind of know but not really scares me, and I didn't see you (you may be off today, or hiding behind some pillar).

Anyway, maybe next time.

Andy [Andy's Last Name]

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Mr. [Andy's Last Name],

Tales of your kindness abound, but having never been on the receiving end of a tangible gift, I took them with a grain of salt. Your tale, however, shows me that the Andy [Andy's Last Name] of myth and legend exists.

Let us begin with the gift in question. Some might say that the lack of chips within the bag demonstrates selfishness, but I disagree! Chips would merely take the focus away from the object of value (i.e., the bag itself). If the chips were good, they would become the new focus. If they were poor in quality and flavor, they would detract from the enjoyment of the bag in which they came. It's a double standard, as good chips do not benefit the bag, but that is simply the way things are.

A cynic might also point out that while your intentions give evidence of a "potential" kindness, the lack of empty bag on my desk counteracts this claim. "We cannot revise history to show only our intended actions," they might say. Again, I disagree with them. It is often said, although generally in jest, that "it is the thought that counts," and I feel as though this scenario exemplifies that adage. Your description, while falling greatly short of the current exchange rate of one thousand words to a single picture, still gives me a reasonable idea of the image, allowing me to understand the humor, and nuance, of the "Ragin' Ranch" guitar-playing pepper.
In conclusion, I wish to thank you for your intended kindness. I will likely join the ranks of your faithful fellows, praising your good name to others.

Sincerely,

Mr. Awesome

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Had I left the empty bag, questions would abound about as to why someone left something that gave the impression of trash on your desk, which you would quickly discard not having a priori knowledge, of my email. And had the bag still been full of chips, it might have implied some sort of unhealthy admirer relationship. Which may have been even more unfortunate on your end when the realization came that it was myself and not some young, attractive, female.

Presuming that would be your 'thing,' of course. I wouldn't care, nor would I judge if it wasn't.

So in my view, the only alternative option here is to have left a partially eaten bag of chips. That does sound like a pretty good option for future reference, but given my current state (slightly under the weather/flemmy/etc) it may not have been seen as a gift abounding with generosity but a clear act of maliciousness.

By logical deduction, there was only one real choice.

Andy [Andy's Last Name]

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Mr. [Andy's Last Name],

I agree whole-heartedly with your list of options. They are indeed the "inside the box" default options, and of them, you chose the best available. That said, let me put forth a new, potential solution to this sensitive situation, which would, ideally, maintain focus upon the image in question, as well as make the gift-giver's identity well-known to the receiver.
I propose that if this situation should rear its awkward head again, the ideal solution is to cut the front of the bag out and mount it upon a makeshift frame of white paper. This would be delivered with a hand-made card stating your intentions, as well as disclosing your identity.

Sincerely,

Mr. Awesome

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Must the paper be white? By my estimation, the essence of the image would be captured best when offset by a black backing.

Otherwise, I do wholeheartedly agree with the perfection and succinctness of your thought,.

Andy [Andy's Last Name]

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Mr. [Andy's Last Name],

Whatever color best compliments the image should be used. White just seemed to be the easiest to find.

Sincerely,

Mr. Awesome